Trials & Forgiveness

I wanted to talk about two of my favorite conference talks from this past April 2016 General Conference.

To be honest, when I was younger I always had a hard time paying attention in conference… sometimes still do but Conference is like Christmas to me! I love getting spiritually and physically fed (who doesn’t love all the food you eat conference weekend?!? That’s a tradition in my family). But since I’ve really been listening over the years its so hard for me to pick just two favorites!! I mean I loved Elder Hollands… who doesn’t?! Uchtdorfs was great. The typical favorites were my favorites too! But, the two I chose to speak on were Elder Hallstroms, a member of the seventy and Elder Duncan, also a member of the seventy.

This past semester was honestly, one of the hardest for me. I had something happen to me that challenged me personally. I hit a low point. It really tested me to hold onto the faith and knowledge I had that Heavenly Father had a plan for me. But, I had a lot of questions… so I was especially looking forward to this past conference, seeking and knowing that I would receive answers.

Both of my talks I chose to discuss today were from the Saturday morning session. Elder Hallstrom’s I think was my personal favorite out of all of them because it was exactly what I needed to hear and answered several of my questions and I think Elder Duncan just spot on.

Elder Hallstrom talked about how we must remember that We are Children of God. That it is essential to our exhalation. We need to have a correct understanding of our eternal inheritance. He said, quote, “With few exceptions, everyone participating in this meeting could right now, without written lyrics or music, sing “I Am a Child of God.”⁸ This beloved hymn is one of the most often sung in this Church. But the critical question is, do we really know it? Do we know it in our mind and in our heart and in our soul? Is our heavenly parentage our first and most profound identity?” He goes onto say that many of the times we identify ourselves in many different ways, our heritage, age, ect. But does that come before our eternal heritage? It should not. In today’s world, its easy to forget who we are and where we came from. The media is constantly telling us what we should do, who we should be like, what we should look like but that all doesn’t matter. What does matter is we are children of God and he created us the way we are and we are special to him. We have divine DNA.

The thing that stuck out to me the most and had the most profound impact on me was when he said this:

“In real life, we face actual, not imagined, hardships. There is pain—physical, emotional, and spiritual. There are heartbreaks when circumstances are very different from what we had anticipated. There is injustice when we do not seem to deserve our situation. There are disappointments when someone we trusted failed us. There are health and financial setbacks that can be disorienting. There may be times of question when a matter of doctrine or history is beyond our current understanding.

When difficult things occur in our lives, what is our immediate response? Is it confusion or doubt or spiritual withdrawal? Is it a blow to our faith? Do we blame God or others for our circumstances? Or is our first response to remember who we are—that we are children of a loving God? Is that coupled with an absolute trust that He allows some earthly suffering because He knows it will bless us, like a refiner’s fire, to become like Him and to gain our eternal inheritance?⁹” Then he quotes Elder Holland and says on dealing with trials: “You can have what you want or you can have something better.”

That immediately hit me. That was the answer I was seeking. That was what I needed to be reminded of. I think I’m not alone in this. Many times when hardships come, be honest with yourself, are you always so quick to say, “Oh I know that this is something Im being tested on” ? Or are you more like me, and think, “WELL WHAT. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY! Why me! Why now! Why this?” I know I’m probably not alone in this. But, Elder Hallstrom reminds us, that when hardships come, remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for you. You could ignore it all and just do what you want and get what you want and ignore the promptings of the spirit OR you can have something better just like Elder Holland says. Remember that, and trust that He allows some earthly suffering because He knows it will bless us. We need To remember that we are loved, we are amazing, we have a loving Heavenly Father that created us in his own image. He wants us to be happy. He didn’t create us to be sad! He created us to have joy! Life is supposed to be enjoyed not endured. Go forward in trails with courage and hope that everything will work out. One of my favorite quotes that I think fits this is from President Gordon B. Hinckley, which says, “You can be smart and happy or stupid and miserable it’s your choice.” Trust in the Lord that he has a plan for you, because he does. After I listened to Elder Hallstrom’s talk I sat there with renewed faith and hope that everything will be okay. If its not okay, its not the end and it will get better. But, we need to rely on the Lord and trust in Him and lean on the gospel to help us.  I have seen and felt the Lord’s hand in my life through this hard time and I have been become so much happier through it.

I think that Elder Duncan’s talk went perfectly with Elder Hallstroms. He spoke on forgiveness and how we must not be a victim twice. We can forgive. I think this went perfectly with what Elder Hallstrom talked about because sometimes, when things happen in our lives or we go through a hardship, trial, whatever you may be suffering with, another person may be involved. That person could have done something to hurt you, but they need to eventually be forgiven. Even if they don’t apologize. Elder Duncan reminds us that we CAN forgive others. Sometimes I think people like to hold grudges and hold people accountable for things that are so far gone in the past that they personally may have been battling with something and took it out on you, I don’t know and you perhaps may not know, but you find it hard to forgive them. He says, “most of us want to forgive but find it hard to do.” He reminded us that, as we try to forgive others, we need to remember that we are all growing spiritually. We need to try to see them as Heavenly Father would. I mean, this gospel is all about growing and learning! We are constantly learning and constantly messing up, but does the Savior say, “ok well you’ve messed up this many times, this is your last time, im done with you.” ?? NO! He doesn’t and neither should we with people. We have the atonement where we can be forgiven of our sins and wrong doings. Something someone once told me was, you can forgive someone but that does not mean they need to be in your life, nor should they be. With the situation that happened with me this past semester, I had to learn to forgive the person. But, that does not mean that they are going to be in my life. But, I had to step back and look at it from a different perspective. From how Heavenly Father views them. Elder Duncan says, “God sees people not only as they currently are but as who they can become.” I had to remind myself that everyone deserves forgiveness and I may not know, or will ever know what they were thinking, but for myself, I need to forgive them in order to move on, I mean it is required for us to forgive others! Elder Duncan states that, “none of us should be defined by the worst thing we’ve ever done.” We need to forgive and let people be forgiven. Don’t hold grudges. The atonement is real and it works. If you need help learning to forgive others ask Heavenly Father for help. I know that he listens and will help you and soften your heart. Let people grow and remember that the past is to be learned from not lived in. Heavenly Father cares a lot more about who we’re becoming and where we’re headed than who we once were. It is not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worth of our kindness and forgiveness and who is not. We just need to be kind, uncondintionally and without ulterior motive, even-or rather especially-when we’d prefer not to be.

Happiness and anger is a choice. No one forces you to be angry and no one forces you to be happy. Everything is a choice. It is a choice to choose to follow Christ. But, we know, that when we do, we will be much happier for it. I know that when we forgive others we will be much happier. You are loved and Heavenly Father wants to help you. I know that these little things, like remembering who we are, and forgiving others will truly help us become more like Christ and help us on our journey to returning to live with him again. Move on and forgive others from things that happened in the past. Better days are truly ahead when the Lord is on our side. Frogive someone not only because they deserve forgivness, but because you deserve happiness. Holding onto anger, is letting Satan have power over you. Try to see where others are coming from and understand that they may have been battling a trial in their life that you’re not sure of. Chose to spread happiness and love wherever you go. Be a light to others and show them Christ like love. Spread that light have Christ in you that I know you all have. Choose to be kind. I’m not perfect and I know none of us are. But we can try every day to be better. To be more like Christ. Heaven is cheering us on! I know that the Lord answers our prayers and is there for us, always. I know that days will come where we think we can only handle so much but I know that we can handle whatever life may throw at us with this gospel and the help from our loving and powerful Heavenly Father. He will wipe away those tears from our eyes. The Savior is our brother, our healer, our best friend. He knows exactly what each of us are going through right now. We must remember that when trials come or we find it hard to forgive others but you must remember that he understands. He knows because he suffered for us. I know that the atonement is real and it works. I am so grateful for it and I am grateful for the sacrament that I am able to partake of every Sunday. He did this for us. For me. For you. He loves us and wants us to return to live with him. I know that the Book of Mormon is true and that it is the word of God and that it is the road map that will help us with anything. I am so grateful for it and for my loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I do not know where I’d be without them or without this gospel. I know that the prophet, Thomas S. Monson and his apostles are called of God. That they receive revelation from him. I love and sustain each one of them. I know this gospel is real and it works. I know it can make you happy and the Lord wants to help you, you just need to ask.