Growth vs. Fixed Mindset

In terms of growing, changing, and becoming better for yourself there are three change "powers" that need to happen and Imma about to break down the three for you. Let's chat about the first one shall we? Pull up a chair. Grab some popcorn and listen up.

Have you ever thought to yourself (after trying to make a new habit stick) "I can't do this. I will always be this dumb." or, "I'm so fat. I cannot get stronger. I should just give up now- nothing is working." or even, "I will never be as pretty, funny, strong, or smart as her/him"?

Guess what sweetie, we've all been there.

Even me. I struggle with this every single day. It is hard. It is exhausting. For example the other night I was laying in bed talking to Jake- and we got talking about health, our bodies, etc and I started crying. I was stuck in such a fixed mindset. I kept telling him how disgusting I was. How I have tried and tried and tried to get stronger but nothing was working. I was unhappy with myself. I was stuck in this mindset.

Carol S. Dweck a professor of Psychology at Stanford University and the author of the book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success". Talks about this!! She talks about FIXED VS GROWTH MINDSET. 

She discusses that people fall within two mindsets according to their belief about where ability comes from. 

GROWTH AND FIXED MINSET

She says that in a Fixed Mindset: "Students (or people) believe that their basic abilities, intelligence, talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that's that. Then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb".

In a growth mindset: "Students (or people) understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching, and persistence. They don't necessarily think everyone's the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it."

Basically in the dumbed down version or the way I understand it is- fixed mindset = NEGATIVE SELF TALK. You can never change. You always be the way you are. You can never be mentally healthy, physically healthy, spiritually healthy, etc. Growth mindset = POSITIVE SELF TALK. You CAN change. You CAN create new habits, new skills, new mindsets. 

So if you're stuck in a fixed mindset... 

HOW DO YOU CHANGE IT??

Well first things first...

IT TAKES EFFORT. It will not happen overnight. You have to tell yourself that. If you fail the first day at changing mindsets- don't think you can never get it because - thinking like that is a fixed mindset. Pick yourself up again and keep going. 

But there are two tricks to help you out in changing the way you think. Changing your mindset from fixed to G R O W T H. They are...

1. Recognize it. Recognize when you are having those negative thoughts. What's triggering it? Is it a situation? Is it people? Is it food? Why are those things triggers? Listen and observe yourself. Is this a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? 

2. Talk back to it. - weird right? I know. But, when you are starting to talk to yourself in a negative way- talk back to it. Realize that- Hey.. This is not going to help me. I CAN figure this out. It IS okay that I enjoy chocolates. It is okay that I didn't run as long or as fast as I wanted to. I will be stronger tomorrow, etc. It is weird at first but once you get the hang of it, it really does help. 

Here are some examples of talking back to a fixed mindset:

Instead of: "She's so smart. I will never be that smart."

TRY: "I'm going to figure out how she does it."

Instead of: "I'm not good at this."

TRY: "What am I missing?"

Instead of: "I'm awesome at this."

TRY: "I'm on the right track."

Instead of: "I can't make this any better."

TRY: "I can always improve. So I will keep trying."

In this day and age (haha I sound so old), it is so easy and "funny" to talk negative to ourselves. BUT. Does it help? No!!!! I am the pot calling the kettle black or whatever the saying is... because guess what? I DO THIS ALL THE TIME AND IT IS SO HARD TO RECOGNIZE IT SOMETIMES!!! But, I am trying. That is what is important. I am trying to change the way I think about myself and about what I am doing. It is not all about my physical health like I talked about in my last post. It is more than that. Change Powers matter and this is the first one. YOUR MINDSET COUNTS. We can do this. It will take time. But we can do it.